Saturday, May 30, 2009

The Ogre, the Rat, and the Princess

© 2009 Karen Van Fossan

Once upon a time, there was a terrible, angry ogre.

The ogre didn’t like me, the ogre didn’t like you, and most of all, she didn’t like herself.

“Self!” she hollered. “You’re terrible! And you’re angry! And you’re an ogre! No wonder I don’t like you.”

The ogre picked up her house. And she tossed it to the ground.

Well, the ogre happened to live next door to a frightful, fearful rat.

The rat didn’t trust me, the rat didn’t trust you, and most of all, she didn’t trust herself.

“Self?” she whispered. “You’re frightful! And you’re fearful! And you’re a rat! No wonder I don’t trust you.”

She scurried away, as fast as she could, far across the prairie.

Now, the rat happened to live next door to an undiscovered princess.

The princess was bored with me, the princess was bored with you, and most of all, the princess was bored with herself.

“Boring!” said the Princess --

While she smiled for the camera.

But the princess happened to live next door to the writer of this story.

The writer looked around. “Ogre? Rat? Princess?" she said. "I’m trying to write a story. Could you help me?”

The princess yawned. The rat kept hiding. The ogre stomped her foot.

Then they hurried home and locked their doors.

The writer dialed a pay phone. "Help!" she said to the reader. "What should I do?”

The reader scratched her head. Or maybe he drummed his fingers. The reader said to the writer.........

(Reader, could you help me? What did the reader say???)


Anonymous said...

I think you should cook them a Greek meal. They might like some eggplant dip with plenty of garlic, lemon, and olive oil. Then they might be hungry for oven-browned potatoes. That is almost guaranteed to help them. Then some lovely white bean soup with bread just out of the oven. I think that would comfort them, and while they eat the soup, I think they would talk to you.

blogslut said...

I'm going over to Anonymous' house for a Greek meal. Can I be the rat?

slumbrousVermin said...

It so happens that the writer lived next to a loyal, loving dog.

The dog loved me, the dog loved you, and most of all the dog loved being alive.

So the writer gathered the ogre, the rat, and the princess, and brought them all to the dog.

The ogre stomped her foot and said, "Fear my mighty foot, dog, and flee!"

But the dog thought it was a game and ran around her in circles.

Then the rat, wary and fearful, prepared to flee back to the prairie.

But the dog made himself small so the rat would no longer fear him.

And the princess...

Well, the princess was a cat person.

Anonymous said...

The problem was that the princess had to invite a cat that liked dogs, especially dogs that love you and love me and love being alive. It takes a special cat. . .

And the cat would have had to have eaten the Greek food, too, so that she wouldn't be hungry for the rat.

Anonymous said...

P.S. Is the loyal, loving dog named Kai, by chance?

Karen Van Fossan said...

Wow! Thank you so much! I have a guess who the first Anonymous might be, but I can't figure out the other Anonymouses. Could you toss me a clue? Or two?

Anonymous said...

Once anonymous always anonymous. I just didn't want to get a google account. If it would be better, maybe I should get one, especially if you keep posting these tasty fun little projects that make my mind hum!!!


Karen Van Fossan said...

Kathleen, it's a deal!

JGH said...

I think the Ogre, the Rat and the Princess should go on a photo safari and have a Greek picnic!

Anonymous said...

So, when do we get to hear the final version of this story?

Anonymous said...

I think the princess was bored because she wouldn't engage with the ogre, or acknowledge the existence of the rat. She didn't know enough of the underbelly of life that gives it all depth and texture. The Greek food would help, but she really should eat it with the ogre and rat, and of course, you, dear writer. She needs to hear their stories, as do you.